Recently I was in the process of selling my treadmill on Facebook Marketplace, and more than once the “negotiation” began with:
“Let me know the lowest price you will let it go for.”
I was disappointed. What happened to the dance? The back and forth that is kinda fun. And hopefully leads to both parties walking away with enough of what they set out for, to say yes. Technology is changing our behavior in a negotiation. One study suggests that even having your cell phone out in view during a negotiation, causes the quality of interaction to suffer.
Going Virtual
Facebook Marketplace has to some extent replaced the tag sale. Even when in person activities fully resume, masks will sometimes deprive us of facial cues we normally use to gauge how the other party feels.
Here are some tips that will help you achieve a more successful outcome, virtually or not. And maybe have a little fun.
Develop a Rapport
Establishing a connection develops trust. Try to get to know a little bit about the other person—what and who is important to them, and what they enjoy doing.
Humor
A well landing joke can make negotiation less serious, and help you get what you want. Smiling and laughing releases tension and helps further develop rapport. Humor can also help you distract or delay when you are asked a question you don’t want to answer, or need a few moments to think before responding.
Keep it light
Emotions like anxiety, anger, and gloating will not place you in a position of strength. If you are communicating over text or email, wait until you feel calm and focused on your ultimate goal, rather than retaliation, before responding to a frustrating request or counter.
Observe your audience
Emotional intelligence is one of the most important skills to bring to the negotiation table. Being able to see and hear someone will always give you more information—so choose video like Zoom versus phone when you can. Take note of body language and tone, particularly when you can’t see someone’s face.
Be flexible
Always take some time beforehand to reflect on what you are willing and unwilling to move on. It is healthy to say no—that is really when a negotiation begins. That being said, flexibility is key. You should be prepared to achieve a win-win scenario in which both parties feel satisfied in some regard and concede in others. If your goal is to crush the other side, it is likely talks will fall apart. Ask your negotiation partner what they value, prefer, need, fear, prioritize, or desire. Negotiation skills are part of my 12 week Mindful Money Transformation, read more here.
All in a day’s work
When I was an auditor, before I asked a client for anything, I would take a look at their desk and ask them questions about whatever was on display. Their dog, their kids, baseball. Only then I would move on to my request. The client was always happier to help after I got to know them. Even when there is no formal deal at stake, paying attention pays off. A negotiation is any agreement where each side is making a concession. If you stop to think, you are probably negotiating all day long. So remember to have some fun while you are at it.
