I have made plenty of impulsive emotional purchases in my life. A plane ticket to Puerto Rico, lots of new clothes, so many manicures, and dinners out. Typically I was mad at myself or someone else, or searching for an escape from a job I disliked very much–but I wasn’t aware of that at the time.
So much of the work around finding financial peace of mind is learning to regulate our emotions in relation to our money.
Noticing that you are feeling emotional about a financial decision before you make it, is huge. From there, its about putting a pause between the emotions coming up and the choice.
Then you have the opportunity to observe the emotion, and invite your rational thinking brain to join the discussion.
Here are some of the themes around emotional spending I have seen come up a lot recently in my work. My hope is that sharing them here helps you feel less alone, and also perhaps offers a different perspective.
1) Forecasts of Doom and Gloom
There is always talk of what could be coming. Doom and gloom economic forecasting–a silent recession, real estate market bursting, stock market volatility, and more. Doom and gloom can trigger an emotional response of “why even bother.”
Here’s my take: “Experts” get paid to have an opinion, but no one knows what the future holds.
You can’t control what is going to happen next in the economy but you can control how prepared you are for the unknown. The pillars of financial wellness don’t change much. Save for saving’s sake, budget, get clear on your values. Small steps lead to big results over time.
2) I have to spend it now because if I wait, it’ll have to go towards something boring.
You are in control of your money. You get to decide what it gets spent on–even if you hold onto it for a bit before you spend it. The boring stuff is still going to come up either way. If you plan for the less exciting expenses, you can get out of the cycle of anxiety that you may feel when you spend on the indulgent things.
3) Feeling undeserving of financial peace
We tend to get rid of what we subconsciously don’t think we are good enough to have. So let me say this: You are worthy of financial stability, of building savings, and reaching your goals. You are unique with gifts that no one else in the world has–if you don’t care for and nourish yourself you won’t be able to share those gifts.
4) A need to stay busy, discomfort with slowing down
Our own company can be uncomfortable, especially if we have not experienced it in awhile. I have found a lot of folks I work with struggle with slowing down and staying in, and are spending a lot in order to avoid something.
Start slowly. Try spending a night in, and stay off social media. Read, paint, sew, bake, rest. Magic can come from rest.
“What if we measured success not by our busy-ness, not by the external boxes we’ve checked off: but our ability to slowly, over time, move towards a life with more space for hobbies, devotion and fun. For watching the moon, for learning the names of all the trees and flowers who choose to grow around our homes.” – Emmie Rae
